Yale was surprised to learn that the holding cells were located below the palace, taking up an entire set of sub-levels all their own. "Why would Gallifrey choose to house its prisoners in the same building as its leader?" he asked.
"Several reasons," Romana answered. "We hardly ever have criminals these days, but in our ancient past it was a constant reminder to the President of certain things. It was a reminder that he or she wasn't above being overthrown and incarcerated, as sometimes happened. It was a reminder that the duty of deciding who was executed and who was pardoned wasn't something to be taken lightly. It was a reminder to be ever vigilant, so that danger and responsibility wouldn't be forgotten or taken for granted."
"So it was symbolic more than anything else?" Yale asked.
"Mostly. Today, it's only because we haven't bothered to move the holding cells anywhere else. We use them so rarely that it's never really been an issue."
When Romana, Leela, K9 and the members of Eden Advance arrived at the holding area, they found two more Time Lords sitting on a bench just outside the door. Although they looked weary (and, to Danziger's eyes, slightly hung over, but he didn't say anything), they hurriedly stood and bowed when they saw the President.
Romana introduced one of them to Eden Advance as Castellan Associate Konran, a colleague of Parillon. Konran, in turn, introduced the other as Savil, a scribe just recently graduated from the Academy. He explained that they were also there to visit the Doctor.
"If you're here to see the Doctor, why are you waiting out here in the corridor?" Romana asked.
"I think you should see for yourself," Konran said, and opened the doors.
The holding area was in utter chaos.
The first thing the Edenites noticed was the Doctor's TARDIS, his friendly, beat-up police box standing on a dais in one corner. It was surrounded by some kind of green energy field and two guards stood in front of it. The second thing they noticed was a group of guards running across the room and through a door on the left. The third thing they noticed was the guard standing behind the central console. He wore a more ornate helmet and was frantically speaking into his communicator. "Team four, search levels nine through eleven. Team five, start on level 16 and work your way down." Then the guard caught sight of who was standing in the doorway and he snapped to attention, his eyes wide. "Lady President!" he saluted.
"At ease, captain," Romana said, striding into the main compound. The others followed her in. "What's going on?"
"Madam President, the Doctor has escaped from custody."
"Oh, no," Romana groaned. "He promised me he wouldn't!"
"Not to worry, Madam President," the captain said smartly. "The prisoner will be recaptured and severely punished!"
"You will do nothing to harm him!" Romana ordered hotly. "You will apprehend him again with professionalism and treat him with all the courtesy demanded of dealing with an ex-president. Is that clear, captain?"
"Madam President," he bowed, failing to conceal his distaste.
"Besides which, you can call off your guards," she continued. "I know where the Doctor is."
"You do?" the captain asked. "Where?"
"Right behind you," she said.
The captain turned to find the Doctor stepping out from behind a potted plant in the corner, brushing the remains of a few leaves from his coat.
It was very odd, Devon reflected, to see the Doctor again – this Doctor – within hours after seeing another one. Once again, she had to remind herself that it was the same man. He had regenerated, and he was simply wearing a different body, and different clothes.
But the smile was the same.
It was the same version of the Doctor who had helped them to defeat the ZED, just before Eben died and she herself had gotten sick. The curly hair and the scarf were gone. Back again was the tall, thin man with shoulder-length wavy hair, dark brown coat, tan vest, cravat and watch chain.
"It must have been the coat which helped to camouflage me," the Doctor said. "I've been here all the time."
"But- how- you-" the captain sputtered.
"Doctor," Romana admonished him. "You gave me your word that you wouldn't escape."
"And I didn't!" he said. He sounded like a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I was bored, so I decided to use my ex-presidential status to give the guards stationed in the holding area a training exercise."
Romana looked at him dubiously. "Training exercise."
"Just a little hide-and-go-seek. I never even stepped out of the compound, so I didn't break my promise after all. Konran, it's a delight to see you. And Leela. Hello, Eden Advance, how are you doing?"
He quickly worked his way through the entire crowd, saying hello to each of them without even pausing to draw a breath and within ten seconds he had shaken hands with all of them and thumped Zero soundly on the back.
To Savil, he had been like a whirlwind, yet after his passing he'd somehow found a piece of candy in his hand. He shrugged and popped it into his mouth. It was quite good.
The Doctor was still grinning broadly when a cadre of guards rushed up and grabbed him. "Doctor!" the captain barked. "You are a prisoner here in the compound, not a guest!"
"Oh, admit it, you had fun," the Doctor said. "You've probably just had the most excitement you've had in years. You'll talk about this night at every party you ever go to from now on – not that you probably get to many. Just think of how much you have to thank me for."
"Thank you for?" the captain asked.
"Yes. Although I have to say that your troops' ability to recover an escaped prisoner was abysmal. I'll have to submit a report of that to the High Council."
"Submit a report..." the captain's face turned red, barely able to contain his fury. "Guards, take him back to his cell! Now!"
"Actually, I came here in the first place to order his temporary release," Romana said. "I need to speak with him."
The captain fumed. "Very well, Madam President, as you wish. I will detail a cadre of guards to escort you."
"No, I will take care of myself," she said. "I will return the Doctor within three cycles, you have my word."
"Very well, Madam President," the captain said, his face burning. The guards released the Doctor, and with a jerk of his head the captain led them away, trying to salvage what was left of his dignity.
Devon took a deep breath. "You haven't changed a bit, Doctor. It's good to see you again."
"And you, Devon," he said with a smile. "And all the rest of you! When I met you on G889 four days ago, I never thought it would come to this."
"Four days?" Morgan asked. "But it's been over a year since we met you."
"Ah, but it's only been a few days for me," the Doctor said.
"And...what about that other fellow, the one with curly hair and the scarf?" Danziger asked.
"My fourth incarnation," the Doctor grimaced. "The distant past, I'm afraid, and I still don't remember much about that time. I'm so sorry you had to meet him. I can only hope you didn't have to endure his company for long."
"His company?" Julia asked. "It's yourself you're talking about, you know."
"One aspect of myself," the Doctor corrected her. "Remember, I'm a gestalt being. There's only one of me, but there are also eight of me. If I'm lucky there will one day be 13 of me, but still only one me. And I find every other me to be very irritating, unless it's the current me. You see?"
He was met with a sea of blank stares.
"Well, good, that's settled," the Doctor said.
"Wait a moment," Mazatl said, pointing at the Doctor. "How come you've regenerated," and he pointed at Romana, "but you haven't?"
"Because I take better care of myself," Romana said, looking pointedly at the Doctor.
The sliding door leading into the compound opened and two men dressed in very ornate robes strode in, followed by another robot dog which looked identical to the one at Romana's feet. One of the men seemed preoccupied, hardly noticing his surroundings. The other seemed to notice everything.
The members of Eden Advance parted to let them through. The one who was alert glanced at them in distaste before evidently dismissing them from his mind altogether.
"Castellan Andred and CIA Director Ferain," Romana said. "At least I'm pleased to see one of you."
"My lady," the Castellan nodded. He was the one who had been preoccupied, and K9 Mark I accompanied him. He didn't look at anyone else in the room, not even at his wife. Bess noticed that Leela looked troubled.
Smiling, Ferain said, "I know you didn't send for me, but I merely wanted to come and offer my personal condolences to you, Madam President."
"Condolences?" Romana asked. "Why?"
"Because a dear friend of yours is being held in custody, and also because that same man is making a mockery of our highest office by abusing its privileges, just because he held it once."
"Actually, I've held it twice," the Doctor said pleasantly. "That's two times more than you ever have."
"We all find our places, eventually," Ferain replied. "I'm sure I've found mine. I just wish we could find one for you."
"Enough pretenses, Ferain," Romana snapped. "Why are you bringing this pressure to bear on the Doctor?" Then she turned to Andred. "Both of you!"
"My lady, I am simply performing my appointed duties," Andred said.
"But Andred, the Doctor has saved Gallifrey, and you!" Leela spoke up. "You know what he stands for!"
"I am not going to discuss this with you!" Andred shouted, causing Leela to recoil in horror. It was evident to everyone present that his outburst was the last thing she was expecting. "This is High Council business, and I will not discuss it with my wife!"
Leela slowly turned away in shock. Romana knew that Andred had never spoken to her like that, and she said quietly, "Leela is considerably more than just your wife, Andred. She's also my friend, and the Doctor's friend, and she's here at my request."
"I'm aware of that, Madam President," Andred replied. "But I still choose not to discuss High Council business with her."
Romana let the subject drop and turned to Ferain, who was regarding the entire exchange with immense amusement.
"And what have you to say, Ferain?" she asked. "Do you have your greedy little fingers in this setup, as well?"
"Oh, come now, Madam President," Ferain said smoothly. "The Doctor committed a crime and the only thing you can do is to accuse others of conspiracy against him? His graduating class from the Academy produced nothing but troublemakers, like the Master, the Rani and Drax. I have much better things to do than to concern myself with a space vagrant like him."
"It's been known to happen," she said evenly. "You gave me your word. If I sent the Doctor to Skaro you wouldn't interfere in his life any more."
"You made a deal with Ferain?" the Doctor asked her.
Ferain raised an eyebrow, mildly shocked that Romana would mention their private deal so openly. Ignoring the Doctor, he told Romana, "That bargain was voided when you backed out on it."
"I what?"
"You backed out on it. The Doctor did indeed go to Skaro, but he went voluntarily. He wanted to go when he heard what the mission was. If you remember, you changed your mind at the last moment and tried to persuade him not to go. As soon as you did that, whatever agreement we had was nullified." He smiled.
"Of all the treacherous..." Romana was furious. "Only you would be so bold as to ignore an honor-bound agreement on a technicality like that!"
"And only you would be so naive as not to see that technicality," Ferain answered. "You didn't see it, but I did. You didn't see the trap coming from the Daleks...but I did. Perhaps you are not as fit to rule as you think you are."
"She's more fit than you would be!" True burst out.
"True!" Danziger warned her, looking apologetically at the Gallifreyans.
"Who are these people?" Ferain asked.
"The members of Eden Advance, here for the trial," Romana said.
The Doctor bent down to True's level and asked, "Why did you say that, True?" He was genuinely curious.
"Because Ferain sounds like Gaal did," she said. "He talks the same way. He smiles the same way. He says one thing and means another. But Romana doesn't lie or try to cheat people." She shrugged her shoulders. "That's why."
Yale muttered, "Out of the mouths of babes..."
Ferain pursed his lips. "I consider myself to be much more intelligent, and much more realistic, than our esteemed president. But, just to show you that I mean what I say, let me tell you that for once, I have nothing to do with the Doctor's predicament."
"And why should I believe that?" Romana asked.
"I give you my word," Ferain said with a smile. "As CIA Director, I swear that neither myself nor any of my people have anything to do with this."
"But you're still enjoying the show," the Doctor said.
"Oh, immensely," he said with a smile. "Immensely." Then he bowed. "Until tomorrow, Madam President." He turned and left.
Romana turned to Andred. "And what of you?" she asked.
"As I stated earlier, Madam President, I am simply carrying out my duties."
Romana looked at him for a long, long moment, then said. "Very well."
"May I go now, Madam President?" Andred asked.
Romana nodded sadly, and Andred also turned and walked out. K9 Mark I followed without a word, almost as if apologizing for his master's behavior. Neither one even glanced at Leela, who was staring at the floor in humiliation. Bess wanted to comfort her, but didn't feel she knew her well enough to do so.
"How about some fresh air, Doctor?" Romana asked.
"I'd be delighted, Madam President," he replied with a bow.
They all took a leisurely stroll through the palatial gardens. It was a warm, beautiful summer evening, and the lights of the city around and below them were soft and pleasant, providing more than enough light by which to see. The sweet fragrance of many different flowers surrounded them, making the air heady with their aroma. The members of Eden Advance enjoyed the new world around them, talking pleasantly amongst themselves as the Doctor and Romana strolled ahead of them.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it," Bess said to Leela. "Your husband sounds like he has an important position, and I guess he has a lot on his mind."
Danziger, strolling just behind Bess, silently shook his head, wondering if she would ever learn to keep her nose out of other people's business. But Leela didn't seem to mind.
"No, he meant exactly what he said," Leela replied. "He is behaving very strangely. But one of the things the Doctor taught me is that there is a rational explanation for everything, even if we can't see what it is. Perhaps he is afraid of his new responsibilities."
"Why, did he only become Castellan recently?" Bess asked.
"Yes, but that is not what I mean," Leela said, and she gently held her stomach. "We will soon be having our first child, and...and he may be very frightened of that." Bess put a hand on her shoulder. "I do not know. It is the only thing I can think of. For now, at least."
"I'm sure you'll work it out," Bess said.
"You're taller," Romana said.
"Well, you know how it is when you regenerate on the run," the Doctor said with a smile. "You take what you can get."
"Doctor, I'm very sorry," she said. "I should never have asked you to go."
"I wanted to. You owe me no apology, Romana."
"Yes, I do. And I give it to you, whether you want it or not. And I'm worried for you. Perhaps you should slow down."
"Slow down? We're strolling through a garden on a peaceful summer eve. How much slower would you like me to go?"
Romana turned to him, and her sudden anger surprised even her. "You've regenerated four times in the last 300 years!" she snapped, her voice carrying farther than she realized. The others stopped walking and watched silently. "You may not know it, but I find that worrying! So do a lot of others who care about you. It's like we have to stand here and watch you deal your regenerations away, like cards from a deck in some kind of cosmic game. You know perfectly well that no regeneration is a guaranteed success. When will your last one be?"
"What else would you have me do, Romana?" the Doctor asked quietly, with a sincerity that was as equally surprising as her own anger. Rarely did the Doctor let his mask fall. "Stay here on Gallifrey? Be a good little boy? Attend sessions in the Panopticon and watch these ancients wither away? I'd rather watch grass grow, it's more exciting. You know that. You know that!"
She sighed. "Yes, I do. But let me ask you something – how did your first self die?"
The Doctor sighed also. "Must we go through this?"
"Tell me."
Konran, Savil, Leela and the members of Eden Advance watched the exchange silently.
The Doctor said, "Old age, cold and exhaustion, after fighting off the Cyberman invasion of Earth, Antarctica, 1986."
"And the others?"
The Doctor ticked them off his fingers like a grocery list. "Second: forced regeneration by the Time Lords. Third: radiation poisoning from the Queen Spider's cave on Metebelis 3. Fourth: fell from a radio telescope while fighting with the Master. Fifth: poisoned by a spectrox nest on Androzani Minor. Sixth: broken neck when the Rani pulled the TARDIS off course. Seventh: walked into the middle of a gang fight in a back alley and got shot, San Francisco, Earth, 1999, and that was only five days ago. Are you happy now?"
"Do you see a pattern there?" Romana asked.
The Doctor thought for a second, then smiled brightly. "No! Do you?"
Romana scowled and took a deep breath. "I'm not going to argue with you," she said. "I just wanted to tell you that I care, and I do wish you'd take better care of yourself. Sometimes you're just too confident, and the longer you survive the more you think of yourself as invincible."
"Is that how you see me?" the Doctor asked. "Someone who thinks he's invincible?"
"Don't you?" Romana countered.
"Actually, no," he said. "The bullets tearing into my last body in San Francisco reminded me otherwise. Please!" he said suddenly, before she could say any more. "I've only had this body for five days and it's been a very trying time. I had to fight the Master right after regenerating. When I tried to find some peace and quiet to recuperate from that, a ZED shot at me and I ran into these nice people. When I tried to find some peace and quiet after that, the TARDIS was recalled to Gallifrey and I was placed under arrest. I have not had a moment to myself."
Romana looked at him dubiously. "Then you could have rested in your cell instead of playing hide and go seek with the Citadel Guard."
The Doctor just grinned. "Well...you know how I have my weak moments."
Romana smiled a little, despite herself.
Ulysses wandered up to the Doctor. "Do you really know a Hindu queen?" he asked.
"Hindu queen...Hindu queen...Oh! The Rani! Is that what you mean?"
"Uh huh," Uly nodded. "I heard you say that you knew the Rani, and I just learned from my lessons with Yale the other day that 'Rani' is a Hindu queen."
The Doctor sat down on the grass and Uly did likewise, laying his little wooden staff beside him. They had stopped in an open meadow near the center of the garden so Romana also stretched out on the grass, looking up at the sky. The sound of the central fountain came softly to them from somewhere nearby. Slowly, Leela and the rest of Eden Advance sat down around them. Konran followed suit.
Savil looked horrified, evidently of the opinion that sitting on grass was not the place for a Time Lord, particularly the President. But he slowly sank to his knees anyway and discovered the grass was incredibly soft and very comfortable. Several new moons dotted the night sky of Gallifrey. Crossamain, a nearby gas giant with beautiful rings, was rising on the eastern horizon. Everyone's mood was very pleasant, very relaxed.
"No, I'm afraid I don't know any real Hindu queens," the Doctor said. "'The Rani' is the name used by another Time Lord of my acquaintance. She's a bit more subtle than the Master, but she's still not someone you would ever want to meet. She's power-hungry and arrogant. That's why she calls herself 'the Rani.' She wants to be queen."
"Don't you know any nice people?" True asked.
"Well, I know you, don't I?" the Doctor asked her with a smile, then looked around at Eden Advance. "Wasn't there one more of you? I thought there was 16."
"Eben died, Doctor," Alonzo said, "Just after you left."
"Oh, I'm so sorry," the Doctor said. "She was a nice young woman."
"Thank you, Doctor," Devon replied. "We all miss her."
The Doctor eyed them thoughtfully. "First, I want to thank you all for coming here. Romana tells me you did it for me, and you didn't have to. That means a lot to me. Now, I know this may sound a little awkward, but my memories have still not returned fully so I'm not entirely sure what happened to me, and when. I can now recall that you and I met in a different order, and occasionally I see flashes of things and I can recall bits of conversation."
"You recalled Romana discovering evidence of a tidal wave, didn't you?" Devon said. "That was why you used that analogy when you explained to me why you couldn't take us to New Pacifica."
"Did I?" the Doctor asked thoughtfully. "I may have recalled that subconsciously, but I certainly have no memory of hearing about any tidal wave. Why don't you tell me what happened?"
So the members of Eden Advance took turns telling the Doctor about the arrival of the colony ship, how he and Alonzo had brought it down safely to G889, Hanson's betrayal, and the Terrian in New Pacifica who had mysteriously dreamed with the Doctor and caused him to collapse.
The Doctor just shook his head. "This isn't helping at all. Nothing rings a bell. I'm afraid I need to share the memories of one of you."
"What do you mean?" Alonzo asked.
"I mean, I need to connect my mind with one of yours to see what you saw," the Doctor explained.
"You mean...create a telepathic link?" Julia asked.
"Yes, please. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."
The others all looked at each other hesitantly, and Danziger suddenly found himself saying, "Well, you can use my memories if you want."
"Thank you, Mr. Danziger," the Doctor said. "I would be most grateful."
"Wouldn't Alonzo be the most logical choice?" Julia asked. "I mean, he is used to communicating with Terrians, so he might be better suited to a telepathic link with you."
"Please," Danziger said, and the others looked at him strangely, especially Devon. "It's something I'd like to do."
The Doctor sat cross-legged in front of Danziger, who tried not to look too uncomfortable, especially when the Doctor held his hands in his own. "Please," Danziger said awkwardly. "Do we have to hold hands?"
"Don't worry, I won't bite," the Doctor said with a smile. He closed his eyes and told the mechanic to relax.
Danziger did so, trying to keep ahold of the one thought he wanted the Doctor to know. He felt himself getting very drowsy, slip-sliding down a long, dark tunnel, as if he was going to sleep. But instead of a dream, he started remembering. He gradually felt the Doctor's presence beside him, and he concentrated on showing the Doctor that there was a gap in his mind.
A kaleidoscope of memories appeared in the distance, small but approaching quickly. It rushed closer with a frightening speed and slammed into him, drowning him on all sides in an ocean of color.
That man was taking the pod. "Hey! Don't leave! There's people here! Hey! What are you doing?" "Dad! We're gonna hit!" "Well I know it fired my rifle, don't I?" "I think we should take a vote." "If you come within ten miles of us, hell, a hundred miles, I will kill you, in cold blood, in front of my daughter!" "What, you think I'm some kind of spoiled rich lady?" Yes! You are! No, wait, are you? Are you really? What do I feel? What do you feel? Dying of thirst, never see True again. Diggers saved me. I owe the diggers my life. Why couldn't the diggers save Wentworth and Firestein like they did Uly? Julia was a spy we left her behind damn! I've been shot! I don't want to die not here not now Julia's back she pulled the bullet out can't believe we made it and then we met Mary and the diggers took Uly and Yale went crazy please don't let him hurt True and Morgan set off the geolock and broke the code and Whelan's nuts and God, I finally showed True Ellie, she's so beautiful who the hell is Shepard? oh God I can't believe I just killed someone but she was about to stab Devon what else could I do what else could I do and we found a frozen Terrian
What?
there was a frozen Terrian and...then...nothing...until...I'm awake in a cave I tried to kill Devon oh God I can't believe I tried to kill Devon want to remember need to remember what did I do? why did I do it? weird spiders sent us to the beach had to hit Alonzo got to reach number nine there's nothing there gonna die again did I shoot on purpose? I can't tell infected with pollen get it out of me! Bess and Morgan infected made spring weird guy showed up almost blew us up with a worm bullet ZED took Uly we fought Eben died why are we dying? Devon in cryosleep chamber waiting for Julia to find a cure found one made it to New Pacifica built colony ship's late weird guy shows up again colony ship crashes Terrian dreams with Doctor another weird guy shows up taken to another planet and that's where I am now, and I said that I would share my memories with you, Doctor, because I was hoping you could do something to restore the gap in my own when the Terrian energy took me over. I want to remember what happened. I need to know for myself. Can you help me? Doctor? Are you there?
No. I'm 300,000 years ago. Darlo said he could take the evil Terrian energy and put it in me but...how...did...I...get...away?...can't tell. You shot that poor young fellow in the chest. It's a miracle he survived. I had to leave Susan on Earth. You understand, don't you? I had to. She needed a real life. Just go on, child. Get away from your crazy grandfather. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine, and...fast forward...no time...no time to sort through a thousand years...link with John Danziger...find Eden Advance...find Romana. We were on Earth, 20th century, then the Time Lord prison planet Shada, then we landed on the Eden Project colony ship. No one was awake, Romana almost died, very worried, suspected Hanson followed through with suspicion I was right it was Hanson he's got a gun! ship out of control it's so hot Alonzo's dreaming the Terrians saved us people died I can't save everyone I try so hard but I just can't save them all the Terrian wants to dream with me he takes me back and I'm with Darlo again how did I get back here? oh that's how I got away! a chapter of the planet has come full circle and I have made my destiny, and the gap in my memory is gone...
and so is yours.
Their eyes opened. Danziger and the Doctor stared at each other for several moments, each understanding the other's thoughts perfectly.
They each took a deep breath and separated. Danziger quickly stood up and walked away.
"Dad?" True asked.
"Stay here, sweetheart," he said, without turning around. He almost had to choke the words out. He headed aimlessly down one of the many paths leading through the garden. Devon curiously watched him go, wishing she could see what troubled him. But she could tell, for whatever private reason of his own, he wanted to be left alone.
"What happened to John?" Julia asked. "Did something go wrong?"
"No," the Doctor said, letting out a very deep breath. "Nothing went wrong. Mr. Danziger has some personal grief to attend to, that's all. He'll be all right. I think he just needs some time alone."
"And you, Doctor?" Romana asked.
"It worked. Thanks to Mr. Danziger, I now remember most of what happened to me all three times I have landed on G889. And a lot of things make sense now, although I can't quite recall everything."
"All three times?" Mazatl asked. "You only visited us twice."
"Do you remember when you met me just before dealing with the ZED, and the Terrians vouched for me?" the Doctor asked. "They said they had met me before, but I didn't know what they were talking about. It was because I had visited G889 many thousands of years ago, when the world was changing. It was Danziger's memory of the frozen Terrian you found that unlocked that memory for me, and explained everything."
The others all listened in amazement as the Doctor told them about meeting the Terrians 300,000 years in the past, when they first began to dream, and how an elder named Darlo had wanted to use him as the vessel for the Terrians' rage. But the plan had failed because while he was in his fourth incarnation he had dreamed his way back in time from New Pacifica to help his first self.
"That's incredible!" Bess said. "You witnessed the Terrian being frozen, and we found it and thawed it out!"
"And now we know where it came from, and what its history was," Walman said.
Magus whispered to him. "See? It wasn't from some stupid glacier."
"Look, I already said I was wrong about that, okay?" Walman said, throwing up his arms. Magus just grinned.
"You actually used the dream plane to travel in time!" Julia said in awe. "I didn't know you could do that."
"And the Castellan is right," Devon said quietly. "You did meet yourself, and break the law." She sounded extremely worried for the Doctor's safety.
"But how did the Time Lords find out about it?" Bess asked again, more anxious than ever before. "Could any other Time Lord possibly have been hanging around the dream plane 300,000 years ago? Do they have some kind of hot line to the Terrians?"
"We don't know," Konran said. "Andred isn't telling."
"Perhaps we'll learn tomorrow at the hearing," the Doctor said. "For now, I'd best be getting back to my cell. My three cycles are almost up and I don't want to make a liar out of Romana."
"Wait, now I'm confused," Morgan said. "Is it a hearing or a trial?"
"What happens tomorrow is a preliminary hearing to determine if a trial is necessary," Romana explained. "It's just a formality, because the answer will almost certainly be 'yes.'"
They got up and started walking back the way they'd come. As the Doctor passed Devon he whispered, "I think it would be best if you were to seek out Mr. Danziger and forgive him."
Then he was gone, strolling back towards the garden entrance, talking animatedly with the others as if he hadn't said a word to her. Bess held True's hand as True was obviously still worried about her father. Devon just stared after the Doctor, wanting to ask him what he meant, knowing he wouldn't say.
She let the others go on and watched them disappear from view, listening to their voices fade away. She stood indecisively in the middle of the garden, hearing nothing but the fountain, the breeze and the sound of her own worries. The moonshadows all around seemed to move in time to a soft rhythm known only to themselves.
She slowly turned around and walked further into the garden, looking for Danziger.
"Here I am, back safe and sound!" the Doctor said with a smile.
The captain of the guard just scowled. He personally escorted the Doctor back to his cell, which was only a few meters down a nearby hallway, as the others all watched sadly. The Doctor strolled through the doorway, looking all the while as if he was having a grand time. The captain reached into his pocket and a look of confusion crawled over his face. He quickly patted himself down.
"I believe this is what you're looking for," the Doctor said with a smile, handing him a card.
Fuming, the captain snatched it out of his hand, then ran it through a slot beside the door. A soft, green shimmering field of energy appeared in the doorway, and a computerized voice announced, "Force field activated."
Alonzo and Walman were trying to conceal a couple of huge grins and failing miserably.
"Do try to behave, Doctor," Romana said with a lightness that betrayed her inner feelings. "We'll see you at the hearing tomorrow."
They all waved good-bye and left. The guard captain sat down at his desk, trying to get on with his work.
"So," the Doctor called to him from his cell. "Have you read any good books lately?"
The captain closed his eyes. It was going to be a very, very long night.
"John?" Devon asked.
"Not now, Adair," he said quietly.
She had found him sitting on a bench at the edge of the garden, overlooking an incredible view of the city below. Crossamain, with at least three bright rings and dozens of smaller ones, had risen a little further into the sky beyond. The light it reflected down onto the vista before them was as golden as a sun, yet as soft as a candle in a cozy room at midnight.
Devon sat beside him. The breeze coming in from over the city ruffled her clothes, her hair, ever so slightly. It tingled with summer. "Why was it so important for you to be the one to share memories with the Doctor?" she asked.
"I said...not now."
"No, of course not," Devon sighed, looking out at the view. "Not the big, tough John Danziger. Not now, not ever."
Then she turned to him. "Why is it that whenever you have a gripe with me you have no problem telling me about it, but when you have a problem you keep silent? Am I good enough for one but not the other? Am I good enough to be given a lecture when something goes wrong, but when it comes to letting me help suddenly I'm not good enough for you at all?"
"That's not it, Adair."
"Then what?" she asked. "What is it?" She remembered what the Doctor told her and asked, "Did you do something you're embarrassed to tell me about?"
Danziger, head lowered, just glanced sideways at her for a second, then seemed to collapse. He rubbed one eye briefly. "Devon, you know, when we found that frozen Terrian, I..." He shook his head. "I did some things-"
"That you weren't responsible for," she said.
"Would you just let me finish a goddamned sentence for once!"
A moment hung between them as Danziger stared at her in anger. Devon just swallowed hard and mutely nodded. When she did he seemed to collapse again.
"Devon, I'm...I'm sorry," he said. He couldn't face her.
"John, look," she said. "We've been through a lot together. When Yale was in danger of losing control you told me to trust you, that we were family now. Why would you deny me the same comfort?"
She took his hand. "Why don't you trust me, now? Tell me what's troubling you. I won't interrupt this time. I promise." She crossed her heart with her other hand and held it up with a smile, which he couldn't help but return.
"I was hoping the Doctor could restore my own memories," he said. "I didn't know what kind of mind powers he has. I didn't know if it would work, but I gave it a shot. I wanted to know what happened when the frozen Terrian took me over. I've never been able to remember what happened, and no one wanted to tell me anything specific, so I guessed it must have been bad. I don't like anything messing around with my head, and I wanted to know. I had to know.
"And the Doctor did it. When we came out of that trance, he had unlocked those memories for me, just like I unlocked his memories for him. I knew what it was I'd done. I remembered blaming Alonzo, and...and coming up the stairs, trying to kill you, and you were holding a magpro on me, scared for your life." He glanced away. "Scared of me."
"No, John, I wasn't scared of you," Devon said, gripping his hand tightly. "I was scared for you. I saw someone I cared about very, very much being taken over by something which had made him disappear and replaced him with an awful duplicate. I wasn't frightened of you. I was angry. I was furious that that creature had taken you away from me!" Before she even realized what she was doing, she found herself stroking his hair. "I wouldn't have been able to pull the trigger, anyway."
"If so, then you're a fool, Adair," he said.
"Only where you're concerned," she whispered. She wanted to kiss him, but she knew he was still too vulnerable for that right now. She settled for resting her head on his shoulder. "And I forgive you," she said. "I really, really do."
He sighed very slowly and put his arm around her, drawing her close. They stayed that way for some time, not sharing any words, just watching the ringed beauty rise over the horizon before them.
They didn't get back to their rooms until early in the morning.
Silence.
Deep down inside, where there is no world, no universe, no friends, no enemies, no remembered beginning, no foreseen ending. Only the self.
The Doctor let himself breathe, taking in the silence of his cell. His feet were in the classic lotus position but he couldn't feel them any more. The guard positioned just outside the cell had asked the Doctor what he was doing only once and had given up when he hadn't gotten a response.
The Doctor was holding a conference. Deep down inside, he was walking the disused corridors of his soul, visiting the places one only revisited during weddings, funerals and class reunions. These were places he could visit a little more easily because his recent union with Danziger had given him a map. Places that only knew of the self. Or in his case...selves.
The Doctor braced himself. The insides of his own mind became a shifting dreamscape. Images and settings came and went, whole sections of mood and personality existing side by side. He found himself in a sunlit garden, tended by a white-haired gentleman in conservative, Edwardian dress and carrying a cane. The Doctor approached him awkwardly.
"Hello," he said, but the old man ignored him at first. The Doctor fidgeted and scratched his ear. "I, uh," he cleared his throat, "need to speak with you, if I may."
The white-haired gentleman looked up, holding a flower, and regarded his 8th self. His current self. And the Doctor fidgeted some more.
"Hmm," the 1st Doctor said. He smiled and calmly placed the flower in his lapel. "Fine pickle you've gotten yourself into."
"Yes, well..." the 8th Doctor replied. "It's nothing I can't handle."
"Oh, really," the 1st Doctor said, staring into the sky. "Then what are you doing here? The past is no place for you. If you've come seeking advice, I'm afraid it's a wasted attempt."
"Not advice. Answers. You have memories I need back. Memories that have gotten lost over the years. You and one other."
The 1st Doctor watered a few more flowers, taking his time.
"Look, what do you want of me?" the 8th Doctor asked.
The 1st Doctor looked up again. "How long since you've seen Susan, hmm?"
The 8th Doctor was caught off guard. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I gave her a promise, you know," the 1st Doctor said. "I told her that I'd be back one day. Now here I am, seven regenerations later, and I hardly ever think about her."
"Susan and I met again in the Death Zone-"
"Don't run that flapdoodle past me!" the 1st Doctor suddenly roared, all indignation. "That was an accident, and you hardly said a word to her! I'll have none of it! Remember, sir, to whom you are speaking!"
"I know exactly to whom I am speaking," the 8th Doctor replied levelly, refusing to be intimidated by his earlier incarnation any more. "You're not real, you're just a part of my own subconscious, given a form, a face and a voice."
"I'm a part of you, and I'm real enough," the 1st Doctor advanced on the 8th. "Just as you're a part of me. One being, 13 bodies. One mind, 13 personalities. One soul, 13 journeys. One life....13 chances to live it. We each have our turn, and my turn was over a long time ago."
"It doesn't mean we have to clash, or to avoid each other," the 8th Doctor said, pain in his face. "How is it that I can make peace between the Draconian and Earth empires in the 25th century but I can't make peace with myself?"
The 1st Doctor grasped his lapels with both hands. "For the same reason that people who share the same house often need separate rooms."
"Exactly. It's all a matter of ego," a new voice said. The voice was slightly higher in pitch with a hint of mischief. Walking around a hedge into the garden came a little man with a mop of dark hair.
"Were you called here?" the 1st Doctor asked wearily.
"Actually, he was," the 8th Doctor said. "I invited him. I invited us all."
The 1st Doctor looked shocked. "Surely you didn't invite the five faceless ones, also!"
"No," the 8th Doctor said. "Just the ones defined."
"I do hope this is important," another gentleman with white hair and a checked cape strode into the garden. "I was enjoying a long nap." He frowned at the little man with dark hair.
The 8th Doctor looked at his first three selves, then watched as his 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th selves also came into the garden. A white table beneath a white canopy appeared in a clearing, surrounded by eight seats.
The Doctors sat and faced himselves. The old crotchety man, the little mischief-maker, the dashing swashbuckler, the goofy bohemian, the cricketer, the irritating colorful one, the mysterious (and sometimes even sinister) little man in the cream suit, and the 8th Doctor. He was still new, still not-quite-defined, still learning his way around the brand new pathways in his brain.
"Well?" the 6th Doctor asked impatiently. "Are you going to tell us why we're here or are we going to play charades?"
The 8th Doctor took a deep breath. "I wasn't sure why I called this meeting until just now. Until this moment, I simply knew it was something I had to do." He leaned forward. "I'm not facing any mid-life crisis, and I'm not nervous. But I've been feeling very disconnected lately. This trouble with the humans on G889 has taught me just how mixed-up my brain really is."
"That's because this self-appointed clown here let it get disorganized," the 3rd Doctor said, nodding at the 4th. "It's never been quite the same since."
"Excuse me," the 4th said indignantly, quietly, "but I wasn't the one who let himself get blasted with radiation on Metebelis 3 just to prove a philosophical point."
"At least he knew when to take danger seriously," the 5th said, speaking up for the 3rd. "Most of the trouble you found yourself in could have been avoided."
"ENOUGH!" the 8th Doctor yelled with his mind and the sky rumbled threateningly. The others quieted. "This is my house now, and I will not have this." His gaze swept the table, meeting the eyes of each one in turn. Only his 1st self was looking at him approvingly. "I have just regenerated in the past few days," he continued. Then he stopped and glanced awkwardly at his 7th self. "And you didn't let go easily."
"Would you have?" the 7th Doctor asked quietly, calmly sipping a lemonade.
"You misunderstand," the 8th Doctor said, giving him a tiny smile. "I meant it a as a compliment."
The 7th Doctor gave a small smile in return.
"And I realize that I have yet to prove myself to the rest of you, as someone who is capable of following in your footsteps," the 8th Doctor continued, his voice a touch sarcastic. "But I'm still you. I'm still the Doctor, and for your information, I happen to be doing all right."
"You call being locked up in a Gallifreyan cell 'all right?'" the 5th Doctor asked.
"A temporary setback, I'll be free tomorrow. But that's not why we're here."
"And why are we here?" the 6th Doctor asked again, then added, "To return to my original question."
The 8th Doctor ignored him. "I inherited this body but I somehow keep losing memories. And it just so happens that those memories are important. I came here to get them back."
"That can be a dangerous thing," the 3rd Doctor pointed out. "The brain cells reconfigure themselves for each regeneration. Those cells are what cause the different personalities of a Time Lord to take shape. That's why our five remaining selves are as yet undefined. So if our brain reconfigured itself in a certain way to create you, then it may have chosen to suppress certain areas on purpose."
The 2nd Doctor agreed. "It may be dangerous for you to try keep old memories and newer ones at the same time. It could cause an instability."
"Then let me be selective," the 8th Doctor said earnestly. "But I'm on trial for something you two did," he pointed to his 1st and 4th selves, "so it's only fair I call upon you now to help me out."
"The Rassilon directive," the 1st Doctor murmured, his eyes closed. "Regeneration is a limited form of immortality. Limited on purpose to 12. And just like immortality, it can have its curses." He opened his eyes and looked at the 8th Doctor. "This is a problem you will be facing more and more often the longer you live."
"I'm aware of that," the 8th Doctor replied. "Which brings me to the second reason I called this meeting."
His seven past selves looked at him expectantly.
"I want to get to know you," the 8th Doctor said.
They glanced at each other as if they were being presented with an idea which had quite simply never occurred to them before. The 8th Doctor picked up the 7th Doctor's lemonade and started sipping it. The 7th Doctor looked at the glass as if he was a child who'd just had his favorite toy taken away.
"You see," the 8th Doctor said, settling back into his seat and smacking his lips, "the longer I live, the less I know myself. I'm always rushing hither and yon, saving the odd planet, stopping the odd war, overthrowing the occasional ruthless dictator." He took another sip. "But I never stop and really get to know myself. I never make sure something's nailed down firmly in place before rushing on to the next project. And it's beginning to take its toll."
He leaned forward again, full of energy, and faced his 2nd self. "A few moments ago you mentioned 'ego.' Just what did you mean by that?"
"Well," the 2nd Doctor harrumphed and squirmed. "What I meant was, that I...we...are quite brilliant and clever." He chuckled and looked around the table. "At least I think so. And we're each very proud. Each one of us accomplished some very distinguished things, myself included." The 2nd Doctor then looked at the 8th meaningfully, all mischief gone from his face. "And it may be that you are afraid of facing the pressure of previous expectations."
The 8th Doctor thought about this. Was it possible?
By his very nature, he could think of his past selves either as himself or as other people. Each viewpoint was valid. If he looked at them as himself, there was no problem. He was all of the people he saw before him, and they were him. They were his past.
But they were also strangers, and when he looked at them like that, he realized that he did feel pressure. Each one of them, at one time, had been captain of the soul known as the Doctor, and each one had not let that soul down. The styles and preferences varied, but each one had done great things and had fought evil against incredible odds. And they were all looking at him now, hoping he wouldn't be the first incarnation of the Doctor to be a disappointment, to let the whole entity down. Viewed from that perspective, the pressure was enormous.
"Yes," the 8th Doctor sat back, humbled. Normally he would be outraged at the suggestion of feeling pressured and would take days before admitting it. But here in this time and place he knew that nothing less than complete honesty would help him. "I do believe you're right."
"Well, it's all right, old chap," the 3rd Doctor was smiling at him. "I'm sure you'll do just fine."
"Yes, indeed," the 2nd Doctor said. "The way you handled the Master, and then the ZED. You're off to a good start!" The others were nodding and adding their agreement.
"Well, thank you, thank you," the 8th Doctor said, and he meant it. "In addition to needing the memories, I guess I needed to feel whole. I needed to know that the rest of you are with me, that I have your support. I needed...to apologize, for not taking better care of myself. For not taking better care of you."
There was a humbled silence around the table for a moment. "That's all right," the 6th Doctor finally said, glancing around. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that it's not your fault alone. I think I was the shortest-lived of all of us."
"Yes," the 4th Doctor joined in. "We each got ourselves killed."
"It's the life we lead," the 7th Doctor said, his chin and hands resting on the handle of his umbrella. A new lemonade appeared in front of him. He picked it up and sipped it.
"The life I lead," the 8th Doctor whispered.
"What you told Romana tonight was true," the 1st Doctor said, a gleam in his eye. "Would you really have it any other way? Would any of us?"
"Absolutely not," the 5th Doctor said.
"Not for a moment," the 3rd chimed in.
"We've lived a lot more than seven lifetimes," the 2nd Doctor said gleefully. "I wouldn't have missed any of it for the world. Even if someone had told me my fate, I still would have done everything I did."
"No regrets," the 4th Doctor said.
"None at all," the 6th Doctor agreed.
"Because whenever life handed us lemons," the 7th Doctor said wistfully, holding up his glass.
"We made some lemonade!" the 8th Doctor said with a grin, and suddenly they all had lemonade glasses in their hands.
With a tremendous chink, eight glasses were toasted in the middle of the table, sparkling in the sunlight. The sunlight became a reddish glare and the Doctor opened his eyes to the bright lights of his cell.
He breathed deeply, not moving for some time. Minutes or hours could have passed, he couldn't tell. Then he uncurled himself slowly, feeling very spent and very...healed. He couldn't think of a better way to put it. He felt more free and more complete than he had in a long, long time.
And his memories of the events on G889 were now complete.
"Thank you," he whispered, and closed his eyes. "Thank you."
When morning came, the Edenites joined Romana, Leela and K9 on the palace roof. The others noticed that Danziger looked decidedly relaxed and comfortable with himself despite his mood of the night before, but no one asked him about it.
They again took an air car through the bright sky and beautiful buildings, alighting on a platform on the other side of the city. They disembarked and joined a procession of Time Lords slowly making their way inside. Konran and Savil joined them there.
Two others whom the Edenites had never met before joined them as well. The first was a Time Lady named Rodan. The other was Nesbin, leader of the Shobogans. They, too, had aided the Doctor and Leela during Gallifrey's war against the invading Sontaran forces.
Special consideration was made for Romana and those with her as they entered the courtroom. The colonists gaped in awe at the sheer size of it.
"The Time Lords don't do anything small, do they, dad?" True asked.
"It's like an old cathedral back on Earth," Bess said, trying to take it in. "It's probably a lot bigger than it needs to be."
As they proceeded down the aisle, people grew silent whenever they passed.
"What's wrong?" Devon asked Romana. "Everyone seems to be staring at us."
"They're staring at True and Ulysses," Romana explained. "Most Time Lords have never seen children before."
"You're kidding," Devon said.
"I'll explain later," Romana whispered.
They reached the front and took a row of seats immediately behind the Doctor and Parillon. Across the aisle sat Castellan Andred, studiously not looking in their direction. CIA Director Ferain was several rows further behind, using his position to get a ringside view of the entertainment. A man in a very ornate uniform was standing at attention near the front. Romana told Devon that this was Harrigan, Captain of the Chancellery Guard.
Alonzo and Julia were bringing up the rear. Just as they were about to take their seats beside the others, a man sitting behind Andred turned around and caught Julia's eyes, freezing her in her tracks. Her face went white and her body froze in mid-step as the man rose, smiling at her.
It was Reilly.