Day 1: Thursday, February 14

Going to conventions. After six of them, I'm finally getting the hang of it. Put empty photo sleeves in my day-planner so I'll have a place to store all the photos I'll buy. Confine everything to one suitcase because I'm sick of lugging two (along with camera bag and day-planner) through airports. Actually take the time to buy some traveler's checks beforehand so I don't have to run to the ATM twice a day. Little things which may seem obvious to you, but to people like me who are slow on the uptake, they were priceless lessons.

Lesson for next year: Take swim trunks. It seems like everyone was in the hot tub but me.

Second lesson for next year: Do I really want to be in a hot tub with this crowd?

Third lesson for next year: Yes, most definitely.

Why did they have to hold the Winter Olympics at the same time as Gallifrey One?!?! Why did they have to hold Gallifrey One at the same time as the Winter Olympics?!?! How does a thermos keep hot things hot and cold things cold?!?! (Whoops, sorry. That one ran away from me.) There's a whole calendar in which to play, yet these two events just had to be in conflict. No one ever consults me on anything!

I slept Wednesday evening, then packed and prepared all Wednesday night while watching Olympic coverage. Luggage includes 8 24-shot rolls of film. Finally, set the VCR to tape the ladies' short program (and hope the electricity doesn't go out and ruin the timer). Showered, dressed, then snoozed a little, so all I had to do was wake and go. The shuttle arrived early and I was awoken by a phone call. I was off.

A Delta plane and a Flyaway bus got me to the Airtel Plaza, in Los Angeles, with no trouble. After chatting with Wendy Wiseman and Paul Steib for a while, I helped the con staff unload the trucks. What a lot of equipment! Was this a convention or the Superbowl?

I was tired after my plane trip and late packing the night before, so I didn't stay long enough to unload the TARDIS. I retired to my room. (That didn't stop me from lying in bed watching Olympic coverage for a while. But I did fall asleep eventually.)

Day 2: Friday, February 15th
AKA Death by Chocolate
AKA Famine by Salad

The con had a Halloween theme this year, so the main ballroom was the Hellmouth. The other rooms were called the Initiative, the Library, the Bronze, and UC Sunnydale.

I had bought my registration to this con the year before, and I had still missed out on the celebrity brunch, just barely. I was #2 on the waiting list. Upon registering this morning and receiving my ID badge, I was happy to learn that I was now in the celebrity brunch. I was doing things so quickly that I asked the con staff for my copy of the program guide, only to discover that they had already handed it to me and that I was holding it in the crook of my arm. Whee!

I helped the con staff set up the place, arranging tea bags (don't ask) and hanging spider webs and other stuff in the Green Room and in the Hellmouth. One spider web went over Suze's desk and PC, and I thoughtfully hung a spider from a strand so that it would be right in her face as she sat down. She put it back and promptly named all four spiders. Someone works at Disney, so there were Halloween-themed versions of Winnie the Pooh, Mickey Mouse and Eeyore around the room. I'm glad I was wearing my Snoopy "It was a dark and stormy night" shirt. The world's coolest beagle had to be represented somehow. The Hellmouth was equipped with blacklights to make some of the webs glow.

But at noon the con began and I was off to the dealers' room. This year, I expected not to spend so much money since I bought all the stuff I wanted last year. Yeah. Really. I mean it.

Just over an hour later, I had actually managed to move on to a third table. Boy, I liked those photographs. But to my utter astonishment, no one in the dealers' room had the novel Slow Empire! The BBC still hasn't gotten their damned printing and distribution problems straightened out. Eight months after its release, and I've still never seen a copy. I bought a few other books, including the charity anthology Lifedeath and the two current books from Telos Publishing.

I headed to the Hellmouth to see Doctor Who stars Frazer Hines, Anneke Wills and Carole Ann Ford. They were funny and fantastic. Frazer, especially, has an instinct for comic timing. I didn't know he was such a showman, but he has dozens of funny stories and witty lines up his sleeve, and he can call upon them effortlessly. (Frazer: "I lost my mother last week." Crowd: "Awwwwwwww." Frazer: "Yeah, it was a helluva card game." Ba-dum-CHING.)

I was off to the registration desk to register for next year's Gallifrey One convention. I didn't know who the guests would be, and I didn't care. I wanted to go, and I wanted to be early enough to get into the celebrity brunch. Mission accomplished! Yay!

Then I attended the We're talking Time Lords panel, which I barely remember. Jon Blum was there, and so was Howard the Dalek.

Back in the Hellmouth, I saw Chronotrip, a 90-minute documentary about Doctor Who, time travel in fiction, and time travel in fact. It was fascinating, and some of the things the scientists claimed made my jaw drop. In particular, someone at the Time Travel Institute claims to be able to slow down time by 50% and to speed it up by 300% within a small sphere. Now, call me crazy, but shouldn't that have been headlines around the world as the single most astonishing thing in history?

We watched some more entertaining videos, then clapped and cheered throughout Opening Ceremonies. Keith Topping and Paul Cornell got honorary keys to the TARDIS and bags of goodies because it was their fifth consecutive year with Gallifrey One. BBV was there, Keith Barnfather was there, Big Finish was there, lots of British authors were there, and best of all, Frazer Hines, Carole Ann Ford and Anneke Wills were there, receiving their TARDIS keys also. Thankfully for my sanity, Jo Castleton, India Fisher and Lisa Bowerman were not there. I would have followed them around panting with my tongue hanging out all weekend. Hmmmmm. Perhaps I was the reason they didn't come back?

At 8:00 PM I made sure I was seated in UC Sunnydale for Mysterious Theater 337. This is a live, scripted, non-audience-participation performance in which three Doctor Who fans sit in front of a large screen and give the MST3K treatment to a Doctor Who episode – in this case, "The Invisible Enemy." I laughed so hard I almost passed out. They were fantastic. However, there were moments during the show that I thought of some really neat comments of my own and just about burst because the team up front didn't say them. Oh, well.

I had some double-fudge at the ice cream social in the Bronze, then checked in at the Haunted House party. After having my con ID badge checked at the door by Satan (if you're going to have a bouncer, you could hardly get anyone more effective, I suppose), I went through the short maze filled with ghosts and goblins and into the main part of the room, which was dark and blaring with rock music. I'm not a dark-and-noisy kind of guy (I like to see and to hear the people with whom I'm speaking), so I went across the hall to the casino.

I was handed a wad of Gallifrey bucks (that's right, fake money, don't arrest us) and proceeded to learn just how addictive, and how money-sapping, a roulette table can be. When I finally realized it wasn't going to be kind to me, I switched to blackjack. Despite the fact that the dealer was nice ("You don't want a hit, trust me."), I still lost. I was hoping to win the mystery prize, which went to the person who won the most money, but it was not to be. The casino shut down at midnight and I went to bed.

I was very tired, and I wasn't going to get less tired as time went on.

Day 3: Saturday, February 16th
AKA War by Chili

Up up up! Hit the ground running! No rest for the wicked! No rest for the weary! No rest for the righteous! No rest for anyone I've left off the list! It's 10:00 AM, do you know where your panel is?

I sure did. It was in UC Sunnydale and it was about The Lord of the Rings. The recent film, the book, whatever tickled your fancy. It sure didn't tickle Dave Stone's fancy. He was on the panel, providing the voice of someone who didn't really like the books (at least as much as the rest of us), feeling that Tolkien's contemporaries had been overlooked. His opinion is fine with me – he can worship chicken and onion soup as a God, for all I care – but the man really needs to learn not to interrupt his fellow panel members and audience comments in mid-sentence. He repeatedly had to be told, "Don't interrupt, someone else is talking now."

Beyond that, his claim that the characters in Tolkien's works didn't really have distinctive personalities caused several of us to ask, "Did we read the same books?" But then, my comment that I'd seen the film 11 times drew a few stares also, even in that room. Oh, boy. Time to move on.

I was off to the Hellmouth to see the ladies of Babylon 5: Julie Caitlin Brown, Marjorie Monaghan, Carrie Dobro and Beata Pozniak. Beauty, beauty, beauty, and beauty, in that order. What a stage, what a stage.

They put me in a trance. All I could think of was more beauty. Must have...more...beauty. (For myself, yes, I know, but I'm talking about for my eyes.) So it was back to UC Sunnydale for Iona Morris (Storm from the X-Men cartoon, Claudia from Robotech), Andras Jones and Celeste Yarnall. Beauty, some guy, and beauty. Two out of three ain't bad, and the crowd was small. They spoke about the ordeals of acting in Hollywood, and about the incredible fickleness of the PTB and their politics that can ruin chances and make or break entire careers. Then we all discussed the fact that actors were used for eye candy and what an audience expects or wants, reality TV shows, and anything else that came up. It was very enlightening.

I then proceeded to spend more money on photos and autographs. First I visited all the Babylon 5 women I mentioned above, and I learned that Julie Caitlin Brown is Iona Morris's agent, and that she was the one who introduced her to Gallifrey One. I bought a photo from Farscape actress Virginia Hey, which showed her holding her cat, Heckle.

Then I visited Iona Morris's table and pulled out an 8 x 10 photo that I had taken of her last year. It showed her smiling on stage, holding a microphone with her arm outstretched. "I have a proposal," I said. "Will you sign this if I give you this?" And I pulled out an identical copy of the photo, also 8 x 10, framed. She was very touched and agreed – but I still didn't get to have dinner with her. Ah, well!

I also got her to autograph one of my Robotech DVD's, the one containing the episode "Farewell, Big Brother," in which Claudia's fiancee dies. Iona had to do some crying in that episode. I told her why I had chosen that particular disk, and she was pleased – and she remembered the storyline, even 17 years later! She was happy to learn that her acting in that episode was still there, as she was worried it might have been cut.

Back into the Hellmouth for Anneke, Frazer and Carole Ann. They were delightful as always. I like to ask questions of convention guests that are intelligent and which they might not have heard before, and I'm getting the hang of it.

After the panel I lined up to get autographs from Frazer, Anneke and Carole Ann. They were pleasant, and I received a compliment from Frazer for the questions I'd asked. He said they were really good. I told him I was all out, so that tomorrow he would be on his own.

While chatting with Anneke Wills, I thought to tell her that I was sorry to hear of Michael Craze's death. I'd never met Michael Craze, but everyone had spoken so highly of him. Anneke surprised me by saying (and I can repeat this, as she said the same again in the next day's panel publicly) that she was angry at Michael for accelerating his death with drinking and tobacco. It was obvious that she cared for him deeply.

I then remembered the short story "Mondas Passing," by Paul Grice, which had appeared in the anthology Short Trips. It featured Ben and Polly meeting again about 20 years after leaving the Doctor. I told Anneke of this story, although at the time I couldn't remember what it was called or where it had appeared. She was intrigued, and Anneke's agent handed me her card and I promised to e-mail them with the story information when I got home (which I did).

I stepped into the dealers' room long enough to get Celeste Yarnall's autograph, along with a few photos and a signed copy of The Velvet Vampire, in which she starred.

Off to the con suite, where the latest issue of the Black Scrolls of Rassilon (all of which were mistakenly dated 2001, BTW) told me that the mystery prize from the casino the night before had been....a free drink in the bar. So no great loss there, especially since I don't drink. But far more interesting to me was the announcement that The Fellowship of the Ring was to be shown at the Universal Studios IMAX theater at 11:45 PM Saturday and Sunday.

Well, this was interesting! I had seen the film 11 times – and frankly, although I loved it, that was about one time too many – but never on an IMAX. The Dallas IMAX had shown it only for ten days, pulling it from their schedule the night before I had intended to see it there, which irritated me somewhat.

I didn't have a car, the hotel shuttle didn't go to Universal Studios, and taxis were too expensive. I needed transportation, and I wanted to go with others, if possible. I began asking around to see if anyone was interested, even hanging a notice outside the con suite.

Dinner consisted of chili cooked in the con suite, complete with hard beans that hadn't been cooked all the way through, but it was good nevertheless, and I was hungry.

Fourth lesson for next year: Don't eat chili before the cabaret. Having to leave halfway through isn't fun.

I spoke with Keith Topping in the lobby for a moment, and I complained that he hadn't asked me if I "was having foon" this year. He did so, and it made my weekend complete.

I rested in my room for a bit, then stood in line for the cabaret. I chatted for about 20 minutes with a woman who had just completed a three-month cross-country trip with a bunch of Tibetan monks. That's neat work if you can get it.

Inside the Hellmouth, I found myself sitting behind Rhonda Scarborough, who was interested in The Fellowship of the Ring at the IMAX, but not enough to miss that night's dance. When I asked the girl sitting next to me if she was interested, she very pointedly informed me that she was 16 years old. I hadn't been going there, but thanks for the information.

The cabaret was really neat. Paul Cornell was a good host, and the acts were very entertaining. I liked Frazer Hines, Julie Caitlin Brown, Nigel Fairs, and the British authors singing Paperback Writer (complete with Caroline Symcox using one of her crutches as a guitar). Jason Haigh-Ellery performed some card tricks, but they were very simple to understand.

During the cabaret, someone's cell phone went off.

People, allow me to rant for just a moment: I HATE CELL PHONES! I really, really do. They have their uses, such as in emergencies, but they should really be limited to those. They have got to be the epitome of rudeness. Look up the word rude in the dictionary and it should say, "Cell phone" (along with the phrase "chatting with your friend in a theater while others are trying to watch a film").

My last two viewings of The Fellowship of the Ring were ruined by people who didn't care that cell phones disturb other people. I have news for such people: the word Ring in the title of the film does not refer to your precious mobile communication system. During the recent Australian Open tennis tournament, the officials had to remind the crowd constantly, as often as six times a match, that cell phones needed to be turned off!

I really liked what Frazer Hines did to the person whose cell phone went off during his panel. He stopped, looked for the person, and pointed at him. He turned it into a joke, but he refused to ignore it. I loved that.

The only other thing all evening I didn't like was the anti-patriotic song by Andras Jones. I've always liked a balanced approach to criticizing the U.S. government. Our government has done a lot of bone-headed, even criminal, things over the last two centuries, some of it even recently, some of it inexcusable. But I try to balance every ounce of criticism with an ounce of praise, for we are still one of the freest nations on the planet. Go live in China for a week, then come back here (if they'll let you leave). So a song which gleefully trashed the U.S. government with no mention of any other aspect was unwarranted. It was the one time during the con that I felt alienated. The song sickened me, and I didn't understand why everyone around me clapped and cheered. I was very disappointed by that.

When the cabaret was finished, I didn't even think about attending the dance. I was so tired I was literally swaying on my feet, the celebrity brunch was the next morning at 9:00, and I was intent on getting to the IMAX at 11:45 PM (for a 3-hour film) the following evening one way or another. Even so, I wanted to drop in on the Olympics-watching party hosted by Witchblade.

At the party I met some more Lord of the Rings fans, and discovered that Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Phillipa Boyens and Sean Astin were in Los Angeles that weekend, and were doing a book-signing on Monday afternoon several miles away! I was excited, and hoped that I could attend that without missing anything major at the convention. A couple of them said they might go, but no one with a car at the con. None of them were interested in the IMAX showing. My prospects were growing dimmer.

Off to bed.

Day 4: Sunday, February 17th
AKA Pestilence by Minestrone

Rise and brunch, rise and brunch. I had a wonderful breakfast of steak and eggs while chatting throughout the 2-hour brunch with Carole Ann Ford and her husband, Frazer Hines, Anneke Wills, Paul Cornell, Caroline Symcox, Dave Stone and a whole host of other people. David Howe, Nev Fountain and a gentleman who was with them made me laugh so hard I couldn't see straight. We started talking about David's books, and I suggested to him that if he ever wrote an autobiography he could call it Howe Are You?. Overall, the brunch was absolutely fantastic. I didn't get a group shot at the end because I'd left my camera in my room.

I think it was sometime during this day that I first heard the phrase, "The Book of the what?" I have no idea how it started, but it refers to author Paul Ebbs and his upcoming book called The Book of the Still. Somehow, it became a running gag at the convention for someone to say, "The Book of the what?" and for everyone in the immediate vicinity to yell, "The Still!"

Ha! Those crazy science fiction fans! You never know what they'll find amusing. (Usually, you don't want to know what they'll find amusing.)

My head was whirling with thoughts of the cricket match on Monday morning, the film that evening, the book signing Monday afternoon, and the fact that I knew I wanted to leave the hotel on Tuesday but had no plans, yet. With all of these things mounting, I bit the bullet and walked into Avis's on-site office to rent a car. I got the cheapest, smallest thing they had, for about $36 a day. I was mobile. I barely managed to squeak in a Black Scrolls announcement before deadline that I would be willing to take others to the IMAX Lord of the Rings viewing if they met me in the lobby at 10:30 PM.

Then I was off to see the remainder of the panel featuring Anneke, Carole Ann Ford and Frazer Hines on stage again. They were delightful, and once again Frazer stopped and pointed at someone whose cell phone went off. "There he is," he said.

I had a quick word with Frazer after the panel to thank him for the diplomatic way he handled cell phones, and I discovered that he dislikes them almost as much as I do. When he points at people for a joke, he's actually covering up the fact that he's highly irritated. Way to go, Frazer!

I headed to UC Sunnydale to catch the panel with the women of The Evil Dead, Betsy Baker and Sarah York, and discovered that seeing the Fellowship of the Ring 11 times was nothing compared to people in that audience who confessed to seeing The Evil Dead over 30 times! Wow! I felt better. Betsy and Sarah revealed that they had met with Bruce Campbell in discussions for making a fourth movie in the Evil Dead series. They filmed the audience and each other with a camcorder, intending to show Bruce Campbell the footage.

I then spent some time trying to get Philip Segal's autograph. I mistakenly believed he was signing at the Andromeda table, and I didn't know what he looked like. I finally found him talking with David Howe in the dealers' room. I got his autograph, took a photo, and thanked him for bringing back Doctor Who.

I got Babylon 5's Mira Furlan's photo and autograph, then wandered through the art show, admiring all the things people can draw. It was great. Anneke Wills is also an artist, and there were prints of her portraits hanging near the front. Sadly, her house had caught fire before coming to the convention, so the originals are all gone! Those prints hanging in the art show were all that was left of her collection.

I then chatted with Rhonda Scarborough, who was camped out in the Hellmouth with a good seat in preparation for Philip Segal. We sat through Virginia Hey's Q&A, and while Philip prepared to take the stage I left to chat with Virginia for a moment longer outside. Then I came back in to hear the rest of Philip's session, which consisted of him being interviewed on stage by Nick Briggs while Keith Barnfather filmed away for a future Mythmakers video. They opened it up to questions from the audience and I asked a couple (and was thanked by Nick later for asking them). One question I asked Philip was, "If you had the Doctor Who movie to do all over again, from conception to the final take, what would you do differently knowing what you know now?" His answer: "Insist upon providing my own scriptwriter instead of using whomever Universal Studios wanted me to use."

During his session, Philip mentioned helping to create SeaQuest, and in a blinding flash I suddenly remembered that I'd always wanted to ask him about Earth 2! Earth 2 is my favorite show of all time, and I'd once heard a rumor that he helped create it. (It even mentions in the program that he did so, but I didn't think to look.) As soon as the session was over I walked quickly up to the stage to be the first to speak with Philip.

Earth 2 lists Billy Ray as its creator, but Universal took it away from Mr. Ray and gave it to Michael Duggan, Carol Flint and Mark Levin to be its guiding producers. Philip's name is not listed. So I asked him if he had anything to do with Earth 2.

"Yes," he said. "I helped create it."

What followed was one of those really special, goose-bumpy conversations that makes being a fan one of the neatest things in the world.

Philip struck me as a genuinely Nice Guy, and he proclaimed during his panel that he was a fan as much as a producer. I've heard nothing but nice things about him, about his willingness to cooperate with fandom, and about his ability to follow through on promises and conversations with fans, even though he himself gets nothing directly out of it.

As best as I can recall, I said, "Billy Ray's name is the only one listed as creator in the credits. I've also met Michael Duggan and he never mentioned you." (I know it sounds like a rude thing to say, but trust me, it wasn't. He could tell I was enthusiastic, and since I had asked some intelligent Who-related questions during his panel, he knew I was okay, and we had a great talk.) He just smiled, shrugged and said, "Well, you know," as if to acknowledge that that was the nature of show business. When I mentioned that Duggan had struck me as a very nice man, he immediately agreed.

We spoke for a moment about the changes that Duggan, Flint and Levin had made. I think I detected the very slightest tinge of resentment, which is understandable, but I'm not sure. I assured him that I was a great fan of the show. I acknowledged that if the show had been aired as he and Billy Ray had originally envisioned it, then perhaps the fan base would have consisted of a different set of people than it does now. He could tell that I was trying to say I that I loved what Duggan had done without insulting his own work, and he appreciated that and agreed.

I think he mentioned a third person as creator along with himself and Billy Ray, but I don't remember.

He said that the original creating team came up with the "message in a bottle" concept to sell the show – that a report of the new colony would find its way back to the stations, letting people back on Earth know what was going on. (This is indeed how the E2 bible reads.) When I said I had a copy of that, he asked, "Is it the one with the big curving E2 logo on the cover?" I had to answer, "I think so." (Checking this once I got home, the answer is yes.) I mentioned that Arthur C. Clarke's name had also found its way onto that document, but he didn't say anything about that one way or the other.

But then he said that they had filmed an accompanying video presentation to go along with this bible, in Hawaii! This is something I've never heard of. It would, of course, have very little relevance to the Earth 2 I saw on screen, but it's still exciting to think about.

He could tell I was enthusiastic about Earth 2, and he seemed genuinely happy to meet a fan and to provide him with information. He told me that he had the bible and the video presentation, and perhaps some other stuff, buried in his office and that he would be more than happy to send them to me. He even went so far as to say that he was going to clean out his office and throw a bunch of stuff away, and that instead of tossing it into the trash, he would just send anything Earth 2-related to me. I told him I would bless him forever and gave him every bit of contact information he could possibly want.

I also told him – after all, I had to – that I had written a series of Earth 2 / Doctor Who fan fiction crossovers, and that for me, it was very neat that he had been involved in both series.

Well, after all that, I was hungry. Rhonda Scarborough, a woman named Mary, a man whose name I can't recall (he works as a prop-builder in Hollywood) and I walked up the street to eat at Subway, then made it back in time for the costume contest. Mary Alice Ladd had a good one as usual, but my absolute favorite was Dan Murphy as a Beetlejuice possessed by the spirit of Elvis. You've never lived until you've seen Beetlejuice dance to Jailhouse Rock. It was a sight to behold.

After costumes came the game show. It was time for...The Weakest Time Link! Andrew Beech was magnificently snide as the host, and it was hilarious! The contestants were all convention guests: the three main Who stars, as well as Paul Ebbs, Nigel Fairs and Nev Fountain. The questions had to do with Doctor Who. When the time came to vote the first person off, each wrote "Andrew Beech" and held it up! When the time came to vote the second person off, each wrote "Me" and held it up! It was grand. I so desperately wanted to watch the rest of it, but there was a film I wanted to see. So I sadly took my leave of The Weakest Time Link and went to the lobby. No one arrived to meet me, so I was on my own for my final (probably) theatrical viewing of The Fellowship of the Ring.

I was also very, very tired.

I got superb directions from the hotel staff and was on my way. Just by pure chance, I had picked up a sci-fi newsletter (there were only about a hundred lying around) which reported a rumor that Peter Jackson had attached a The Two Towers preview to late viewings of The Fellowship of the Ring. I didn't know if it was true, but I was hoping it was, and that I'd get to see it.

One of the first things I saw walking into the Universal Studios Citywalk was the Bucca di Beppo restaurant, and I had to smile as I remembered a wild evening with Kirk Trutner and some Earth 2 fans a couple of years ago.

The Universal Studios IMAX...is...HUGE! I think it's about twice as big as the one in north Dallas! It's six stories tall, and the theater is twice as wide as any I've ever seen. I settled back into my seat (top center, yeah baby!), determined that this time, my final viewing, I was not going to be bothered by cell phones or people talking. I was just going to enjoy the film.

The sound was incredible. If anything, it was too loud. It drowned out anyone who would have been chatting more than five seats away. The film print had almost no scratches. I wasn't really in the mood to see this film yet again, but I desperately wanted to see it in this way. I wish I hadn't seen it the 10th and 11th times, but this was great.

I was so tired, though, and my throat was beginning to hurt, and I knew it would be 3:00 AM when I got out of there. I was absolutely adamant that after coming so far I was going to see this film through to the end, but I slowly realized that I was coming down with a cold and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it.

I gave in to sleep, also. I allowed myself to doze, very lightly, during slow scenes in the Mines of Moria and in Lothlorien. I had no other choice, as I couldn't keep my eyes open, not even for Frodo and Gandalf. But during the fight scenes, I was awake and having fun. Great flick. I stayed beyond the end of the credits, hoping for a preview of The Two Towers, but there wasn't one.

Back to the hotel. There was a cricket match at 9:30 the next morning that I desperately wanted to attend, so I set the alarm and crashed heavily into bed, knowing that I'd need to find some cold medicine somewhere.

Day 5: Monday, February 18th

The final day of the convention. But unlike other conventions, I didn't feel like this one had sped by, perhaps because it was a 4-day con. Everything was happening in a blur by this point, to be sure, but it had been so action-packed. Also, it's hard to ask, "Where did the time go?" when you're exhausted.

The itty bitty germs inside me did indeed arrive in full force. I was now officially with cold. I drove to the 7-Eleven up the street for some non-drowsy cold medicine. Then I called the book store sponsoring the Peter Jackson signing and learned that there was already a line of about 35 people. I asked the woman who took my call to estimate how many people would be in line by 1:00 PM, and she said, "About four or five hundred."

Ouch. I thanked her and hung up, abandoning all hope of meeting Peter Jackson during this trip. Whether I arrived early or late, I'd have to stand in line for four hours, and that just wasn't happening.

Then about 30 of us converged on a nearby park to play cricket! It was a beautiful day, just the slightest bit cool. Paul Cornell explained the rules, we split into teams, and away we went. Paul judged and Caroline Symcox kept score.

My team, the Platypuses (Platypi?), batted first. The opposing team was called the Wirrn (named after a Doctor Who monster). Real cricket matches can go for days, so we just played a timed event. We would bat for 90 minutes, and the other team would get to bat for the same number of overs as we batted during that time. Each team had at least one person who had played before and could bat very well.

We also used a soft practice ball. Real cricket is played with a rock-hard ball. (Paul told us that people have been killed playing real cricket.)

I can't give a play-by-play, and I don't know everyone's names, so I'll just keep it to my own experience. Keep in mind, I am not athletic, and at 32, I'm no longer even in shape (as I so brutally found out – sitting in front of computers all day will do that to a person). Nevertheless, I was having a great time and was determined to do my best.

I actually scored two runs! They went by in a blur, I don't know where I hit the ball. I think I just got lucky, because I simply ran after hitting, without really thinking about the possibility that the ball would be fielded and returned immediately.

I also had a constant problem with the other runner and I not being in agreement as to when to run and when to stay put. It was highly comical. At one time I found myself trapped between the wickets, and I suddenly realized I had to get back to my original wicket in about three seconds or I would be out. I sprinted back as hard as I could and slid to safety as the ball came in. That was close. Between overs, Paul advised me to talk with my fellow runner, and I just said, "I wouldn't know what to say." Which was true. Unless we could suddenly develop telepathy, I didn't really see the point.

The batter on our team who was really good had voluntarily withdrawn after scoring a bunch of runs in order to allow others a chance at bat, and I was seriously considering withdrawing also simply because after one run between the wickets I was breathing hard. I'm not asthmatic, I'm just a couch potato. But luckily, I was able to stick it out.

Then I hit the ball a third time, and my luck ran out. I simply took off at full speed, my brain not even registering that I hadn't hit the ball more than about 40 feet. It was an American softball reflex. The other runner was forced to run also, even though he knew it was idiotic. The other team threw the ball to the wicket towards which he was headed and got him. I was still in, but my teammate was out because of my mistake.

That's the nature of cricket, one of the twists that makes it so neat. But I felt bad because he had just come in on the play before and hadn't gotten to swing a bat at all. This was just for fun, this was the only time some of us would ever play this game, I thought everyone should get a chance to play, and I'd been in for about ten minutes. So I yelled, "Paul! I'll take the out and let him take my place since he didn't get to bat."

Paul just shook his head and said, "That's just how the game goes. Sometimes it's cruel." Then he thought for a moment, and said, "Okay, I'm shutting my eyes. I can't see what happens for the next 30 seconds!"

I ran off the field and told the other guy he was back in. That was my cricket batting experience.

After 90 minutes, the other team took to bat. Their goal was to outscore us in the same number of overs that we had batted during our 90-minute stretch. I took up a position behind and to the right of the batter. Since most people (beginners, at least) will hit the ball ahead of them, this meant I didn't see much action. But I was also there to back up the catcher, since the batter can run if the ball gets away from the catcher.

In fact, I only did battle with the ball twice. Once I won, once I lost.

About halfway through the Wirrn's bat, I chased down a ball at full speed (I can still run fast when I really, really want to) just before it rolled out of bounds, and threw it back. The batter automatically scores four runs if the ball rolls out of bounds, but by chasing that puppy down and returning it, the Wirrn only scored two runs on that play. So I scored two runs on offense and saved two runs on defense.

Later, I was directly behind the catcher when a tricky person for the Wirrn was at bat. Instead of swinging the bat, he would just kind of tap the ball hard with the bat at an angle. This deflected it over and behind him, where he didn't think people would be as alert.

Well, that was my position, and I was alert, but the ball still got between myself and a teammate. We chased it down. I was running full speed, intending to duplicate my earlier feat, but my body couldn't keep balance at that speed. I slipped in the mud and performed a half somersault / sideways twist. At least, that's what it felt like from my perspective, I don't know what it looked like. The ball rolled out of bounds, the Wirrn had four more runs, I had mud on my clothes, a smile on my face, and pain in my left knee. That was fun!

Everyone got a chance to bowl (that's the cricket term for pitch, or throw the ball at the batter). Cricket is bowled straight-arm, overhand, and you can't just throw the ball wide to prevent the batter from hitting it, or the judge calls it "Wide!" and it doesn't count. (I think the opposing team is granted one point for every ten bowls that are called wide, so there's further incentive not to do it.)

I was complimented for my bowling by several people, but I had to keep reassuring them that once again, it was luck. The wickets were about 50 feet apart and I'd never thrown a ball like that before, so my aim was about as good as a Star Wars stormtrooper. I just hurled it in the batter's general direction and hoped for the best.

Unlike baseball, cricket doesn't have a strike zone. As long as the batter can reasonably reach the ball, it is considered a valid bowl, so throwing the ball straight at the batter is legal. Unkind, perhaps, and in my case unavoidable, but legal. No runs were scored off of my bowling.

But I was also lucky in another respect: it didn't occur to me until later that if the ball had been hit and fielded, I would have been expected to catch the incoming ball, since the bowler is the one standing by one of the two wickets (as he bowls at the opposite one). I was so intent on getting my bowling over with without killing anyone that I was not prepared to think about getting runners out. I'm just fortunate it didn't happen while I was there.

In the end (drumroll please)....we won! Team Platypus defeated the Wirrn 55-53! (Those silly Doctor Who monsters. Don't they know that evil never wins? Oh, well, live and Wirrn.) It was a tight score, a 2-point difference, so I'm very happy to know that I had a part in ensuring that 2-point win.

I took my muddy body to Subway for some food, trying not to think about how much this was going to hurt the next day. And the next. And the next. One shower later I was back in the Hellmouth. It was time for Closing Ceremonies. (Awwwwww. :::sniffle:::)

We saw some really neat video presentations. The one I liked the best was the set of examples which showed how the old black-and-white Doctor Who episodes were being enhanced using a new process call VidFIRE. The enhanced video is much more fluid and much easier on the eyes. I don't remember who was doing that, it may have been the Restoration Team, but it looked mightily impressive.

Paul Ebbs was surprised with a special video presentation advertising The Book of the Still. It seemed as if everyone who came on stage had to ask, "The Book of the what?" The audience never let them down.

Anneke Wills kissed Shaun Lyon on the cheek. This prompted Keith Topping and Dave Stone also to kiss him on the cheek when they left the stage, smothering him from either side. And, of course, Dave Stone wouldn't be Dave Stone without announcing during his good-bye speech that he was having an orgasm on stage at that moment. Every Who author on either side began edging away from him. I've never known them to be afraid of anything, so that was a first!

And then the Closing Ceremonies were over, and that was that. Another Gallifrey One come and gone. I took my last photo with only two shots to spare on my final roll of film. Now that's coordination!

Rhonda Scarborough and I strolled up the street to a Thai restaurant. No other customers came in the entire time we were there, so either it was a well-kept secret or everyone else knew something we didn't, but the food was nice. We talked for a while about science fiction fandoms and the silly things they do, then went back to the hotel. She retired to her room for the night, and after wandering around for a bit, I couldn't really find anything else to do. (It's a bit disheartening to see the con suite door closed after seeing it open and full of people and food all weekend. That's when you realize the convention is really over.) I went back to my room, updated my accounting books, arranged photos, watched some more Olympics coverage and went to bed, noting that I was already almost out of cold medicine.

Day 6: Tuesday, February 19th

My cold kept me tossing and turning all night long. Even with medicine, I was blowing my nose so constantly that my upper lip was becoming callused. Around 5:00 AM I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I just lay there, comfortably miserable, dozing lightly occasionally.

I subconsciously recognized that someone further down the hall was banging heavily on a door. I didn't know and I didn't care. The banging continued. I still didn't register it properly. It was one of those occasional hotel noises that you just tune out.

Suddenly: WHAM WHAM WHAM! Very loud, on my door. "LAPD! Open up, we need to search the room!"

I slowly crawled out of bed and stood at the door. I have the IQ of a genius, but did I look through the peephole? Nope. That would have been far too simple. Instead, I just spoke through the door.

"Who is it?" I asked (I was still a little groggy and slightly in shock).

"LAPD! Open up! We have a key and we're coming in!"

My first thought was, This is a joke. Put a bunch of sci-fi fans in a hotel and you'll get someone who'll try things like this. Keith Barnfather will be waiting off to the side with his camera and my embarrassment will be immortalized on a Mythmakers video. But the urgency of the voice was too intense. It's something you just can't fake.

"Um...I'm naked," I said, for I was.

"We don't care, open up!"

I opened the door a few inches and looked at them, thinking I could just answer their questions.

"Sir, could you please step to one side, into the bathroom."

I did as I was asked and they opened the door. There were three of them, all men. Two stood out in the hallway – one in SWAT gear holding a shotgun – while a third advanced quickly into the room with his pistol drawn. They were extremely tense, and they didn't give a damn about my state of undress. I could have been dressed as a ballerina for all they cared. More policemen were further down the hall, searching other rooms.

The man looked behind both beds and said, "All clear."

"Sir, lock your door and stay in your room." Then they were gone to the room across the hall.

I locked my door and stayed in my room, wondering what had caused the fuss. I hoped no one had been killed. It was obvious they were looking for someone who was armed.

I showered and dressed, and after a little while the front desk called to say that it was safe to come out. (I never really did find out what that was all about, but I was told that no one had been hurt.)

I came out and discovered that the morning's furor had prevented the hotel restaurant from opening. One person told me that the policeman who had searched his room had noticed bits of Doctor Who merchandise lying around and had turned to him on the way out and innocently asked, "Doctor Who fan?" I heard a similar story from someone else. I could only shake my head in amazement.

The hotel restaurant wasn't going to open for another half hour, and I was hungry right then. So I joined a small party of people, including Tom and Alryssa Kelly, and ate at Beeps.

The street in front of the hotel was blocked off from both ends by about six police cars. They still hadn't caught whomever they were looking for.

Once I got back, I called Rhonda Scarborough to see if she was interested in doing any sightseeing, but she was going to visit with her cousin. No one else seemed interested in going to Disneyland, which was my first choice of things to do, and most people seemed to have left already. I resigned myself to having the day alone, which was fine with me. I was easy with people or without.

The more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to go to Disneyland. I'd like to say I've been, but I wasn't feeling up to riding anything exciting, and there wasn't anything besides rides that I wanted to do there. With my cold and fatigue, I decided that I needed something peaceful. Relaxing. Instead, I got Dan and Kathy Murphy.

A quick browse through the hotel's pamphlets had revealed an arboretum and something else, I don't remember what, that sounded nice and peaceful. As I wandered through the hotel lobby, I ran into Dan Murphy, who suddenly asked me out of the clear blue sky, "Are you going to Universal?"

Well, golly, I hadn't known and hadn't been asked. I didn't know how to respond. Before I could say anything, he said, "Because if you're going, we need to go five minutes ago!" (By this time, it was about 11:00 AM.)

I quickly decided that a day with people would be more exciting than a day without people, so I said, "Uh...sure!"

He wanted to leave ASAP, so I ran to turn in my car to Avis so that I wouldn't be charged for another day and joined the Murphy's, along with Bret Bowen and Amberwolf, for Universal Studios.

This was my second Gallifrey One, and this makes the second time that I ended up riding with the Murphy's the day after the con when I was within 10 minutes of leaving the hotel on my own.

We wandered around Universal. I didn't take photos, as I like to lay my camera aside on some occasions when it would be a hassle and I'm tired of taking pictures. We saw the Blues Brothers performance, and Dan got to dance with the others up front, dressed as he was in his Blues Brothers outfit and T-shirt!

Then we saw the Terminator 3D show, Backdraft, took the Jurassic Park ride, the Back to the Future ride, the Universal Studios Tour, and shopped along the Citywalk. I bought some more photos, plus a copy of the Doctor Who charity parody The Curse of Fatal Death, which I'd never seen.

We left to drop Bret back at the hotel, as he had to catch a flight, then I accompanied the Murphy's to Eric Hoffman's house. They had stored a massive amount of sound equipment there during the day because they had already checked out of the hotel and didn't want to leave the equipment in their car. So we chatted with Eric for a while, loaded the equipment and left. By this time, Amberwolf and I were both tired, and my cold medicine (I was now on the drowsy kind) was taking its toll.

We arrived back at the hotel late that night and I went to sleep in Los Angeles for the last time in 2002. The road block in front of the hotel was just a memory.

I checked out the next morning and headed back to Dallas. Next year, the guests will be Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy, and I am already there.

The Book of the what?